Ms Perdie's Dirty Details...

Thursday, September 29, 2005

I've been tagged

*Updated*

I tag Insanely

I've been tagged by Jomama (btw, your results were FUNNY!!)

The Rules:
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same.

So, my fifth sentence in my 23rd post is:

"I know this was not what love's about"

Ain't THAT a BITCH!!!! :)

Monday, September 26, 2005

My psychic reading.....

The summer of 2004 I went to a psychic. My cousins and I went to Seaside Heights, and they had the booth, where you could get your palm read for $5. Now, I don't necessarily deny that they can't read your future off the palm of your hand, but I don't necessarily believe it either. But, I said hey, what the hell.... let's see what they have to say.

My "reading" was:

1. I'm not happy in my job, but something will be opening up, and I'll be very successful in life (now, they told that to each and everyone of us; I guess that's the one thing that they HAVE to say).
2. The person I was in love with (at that time) is NOT the person I would be with. He isn't my true sole mate. Our relationship is not going to last.

She also said some other things, but these are the two that sticks out to me. She did say that everything gets better, but not until next year (meaning 2005).

The reason why #1 sticks out is because of the promotion I am getting shortly. I am not happy in the position that I'm in right now, because I'm GREATLY underpaid! But, this new position is offering me mor money, and a step up, which will allow me to grow and provide more opportunities. YEAH!!!!

The reason why #2 sticks out is because we didn't last. At the time she told me that, we weren't actually in a relationship. We were dealing with each other, but was in one of those "lets take it slow and see where it leads us, even though we were in a relationship prior to this.... Yeah right.... That lead to us growing further and further apart, and eventually, I moved on, and he moved on, too.

After recent events in my life lately, I wonder what the psychic would see now......

Sunday, September 25, 2005

What's in my closet.....

Jerry tagged me to find out what is in my closet, so here goes....

Three Random Facts About My Closet:
1) It's carpeted and is too damn small!
2) There are two bar racks, one in the front and one in the back
3) It has a nice little slanted shoe holder on the floor/wall, since it's built above my steps.

Three Items I've Never Worn But Still Haven't Tossed:
1) A strapless pink and black dress (need a new strapless bra, that's why I haven't worn it).
2) A pink /orange/yellow dress, because it's too big.
3) Everything else, I've worn at one point or another.

Three Items I'll Never Get Rid Of, No Matter How Ugly They Get:
1) My red coat (some people say it looks like Elmo, but I've gotten a lot of compliments on it!) and I LOVE IT! It's different.
2) A Karl Kani sweater that I've had since I was in 11th grade? I don't know exactly when I got it, but it's a warm sweater.
3) Nothing else, really. I like the clothes I wear.


Three Items People Wouldn't Expect To Find In My Closet:
1) A whip.
2) A paddle.
3) Everything else is expected.

Three items that made me go, "Oh Lord, what was I thinking?":
1) This beige strapless dress I got. Looks very ugly!.
2) This cheap white dress that was too damn big!

Three things that I have a surprising number of:
1) Shoes
2) Shoes
3) Shoes :) I love shoes!

Three dominate colors in my wardrobe:
1) Pink
2) Black
3) Blue (Lt Blue and Turquoise)

Three items that never fail to put me in a good mood whenever I wear them:
1) My tight jeans :)
2) My cleavage shirts
3) My lime green nighty set. ;)

Thursday, September 22, 2005

HEAVY ROTATION!

This song is really old, but a lot of it (not all of it) explains how I'm feeling, and I've been listening to it ALL day, along with Backtight by Jaheim, Let It Flow by Toni Braxton and No More Tears by Anita Baker...

Rain On Me - Ashanti

I'm looking in the mirror
At this woman down and out
She's internally dying
I know this was not what love's about
I don't wanna be this woman
The second time around
'Cause I'm wakin' up screamin', no longer believing
That I'm gonna be around


Over and over I tried
And over and over you lied
And over and over I cried

Over and over I tried
Yet over and over you lied
over and over I cried, yeah
I don't know why


Rain on me
Lord, won't you take this pain from me
I don't wanna live, I don't wanna breathe
Till you just rain on me
Lord, won't you take this pain from me
I don't wanna live, I don't wanna breathe


See, I don't want to hug my pillow late at night no more
I'm tossin' and turnin' and thinkin' 'bout burnin' down these walls
I don't wanna fuel this fire no more, no more, no more
See, I made up my mind 'cause I've wasted my time
Ain't nothin' here to keep me warm


Over and over I tried
And over and over you lied
And over and over I cried

Over and over I tried
And over and over you lied
And over and over I cried, yeah
I cried, I cried, I cried, I cried, I cried


Rain on me
Lord, won't you take this pain from me
I don't wanna live, I don't wanna breathe
Till you just rain on me
Lord, won't you take this pain from me
I don't wanna live, I don't wanna breathe


I'm so tired of the rain
In my life
And I'm so tired of the strain
And now you're gonna lie


'Cause sometimes I can't sleep at night and
This here it just don't seem right and
Sometimes I just wonder why I
Almost let my life go by

Sometimes I can't sleep at night and
This here it just don't seem right and
Sometimes I just wonder why I
Almost let my life go by


Rain on me
Lord, won't you take this pain from me
I don't wanna live, I don't wanna breathe
Till you just rain on me
Lord, won't you take this pain from me
I don't wanna live, I don't wanna breathe

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Another wacky teenage story.....

I was sitting here in a sad mood today, and for some reason started thinking about things I did as a teenager. The following story popped up in my head:

I was in the 9th grade, in Colo. Springs. A few friends from my school told me about some hotel party they were going to that these guys were giving. So, of course I wanted to go. I asked my mom if I could go. At first, she said no, but I told her that one of my friends parents rented the room for a birthday party (yeah, likely story!) So, finally she said yes, and took me. Now, it was some little hump-n-dump motel, and as soon as we pull up, my moms like, I'm going in. I'm like NO!!! I'll be OK. Don't worry mom. So she let me go, and I wave to her as she drives off. My friends come out side to get me. We step in the room and my first thought is OH BOY!!! What did I just get myself into? When I say hump-n-dump, I MEAN hump-n-dump. It was RAGGEDY!!!!! And there was about 30 people in this little ass room. People on the floor, on the bed, on the walls (no, not really on the walls, but it damn sure felt like it!) People were getting drunk, smoking, doing whatever. I'm sitting in the corner, saying to myself "I WANT TO GO HOME!!!!! Why didn't my mom stick with the No story?"

About an hour later, there's a knock at the door. Guess Who??? Yep, you guessed it, Colorado Springs finest. The guy who rented the room went outside, came back about five minutes later and said that the cops said that anyone in the room under 18 is going to be taken home. WTF??? Ahhhhhh HELL NAW!!!! About 10 of us went into the bathroom, and jumped out of the bathroom window. Now, I'm sure everyone has been to a hotel room at one point or another, and if you've been to a MOTEL, then you know that the windows in the bathroom are VERY small. I've always been a "healthy" girl. At that time I was 5'9", weighed 150 pounds. When I tell you I was up and out that window within 2 seconds, you would never believe it. And the window was about 7 feet off the ground, since the motel was built on a hill. I sprained by damn ankle when I landed. SHIT!!!

So, after we all get out of the window, everyone starts hauling ass down the street. Then we all stop and look at each other like, where the fuck are we going? We had NO CLUE! One of my friends was dating this guy who lived on the South end of Colo. Springs, so we went to a pay phone and called him to see if he was home. Lucky for us, he was. Not so lucky for us, he wasn't coming to get no body, so we had to walk all the way to his house. Mind you, we were in the middle of Colo. Springs, and his house was about 10 miles away, and it was 11:00 at night. So we walk, and walk, and walk, and walk, and FINALLY we make it. Good, stay here till the first bus in the morning, and then go the hell home!

My friends boyfriend was about 22 y/o (remember I said we were in the 9th grade). He decides he's going to call his "boys" to come over to chill with the rest of her "girls". Ummmm, no, I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!!!!!!! This UGLY, and I mean UGLY dude has his eye on me from the time he walks in the door. I'm ignoring him, being rude to him the WHOLE night. He's trying to sit by me, everything! All I kept thinking was GOD, why didn't I just say home? Finally he got the point and left me alone.

The next morning didn't come fast enough. I got up at like 6:00 in the morning, waking EVERYBODY up. Let's go, the bus comes at 6:30. GET UP!!!! We left that house, and I swore I would NEVER, EVER, EVER hang with them again. And I didn't. I was never so happy to see home.

On another note - I know my mom seems very naive in this story, but trust me, she's not. When I told her about the story a few years later, she said, Oh, I knew nobody's parent rented a room for their child to have a party at that hotel. But you were so persistent on going, I was going to teach you a lesson. Did you get the lesson? With my head down.... "yes, everything isn't what it seems. And stop rushing to be grown?" She just looked at me, smiled, and walked away. I love my mother!

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Random thoughts...

I didn't do much yesterday, so just thought I'd post some more random thoughts... Please feel free to comment.

Why is that old people are always winning something? A 92 y/o man hit the Megabucks slot in Vegas for, get this, the 2ND time... the 1st time he won $4 million, this time he won $21 million... WTF??? What is he going to do with all of that. Give it to someone who needs it, like me. SHIT!

I heard some good news about my promo... YEAH!!!! Only a few more weeks and I can quit the bar job!

I want to go to the Miami Carnivale, but I can't. But I'm going next year!

Why was my check engine light on for 3 weeks straight, and now it's off, for the 5th day in a row? Why do I not like my car, but I'm keeping it "until the wheels fall off", cuz I have no car note.

Some people don't appreciate what they have until it's gone.

The other morning, my daughter K (who is 7) and I were getting ready to go to school/work. We kept hearing this popping noise. My daughter is very scary, so everytime she heard it, she ran in my room asking me what the noise was. I don't know, I said, everytime she asked. Eventually we hear someone outside saying "You see that? It came from the telephone pole." My daughter says, "mommy, call somebody. I want to see if the phone works." WTF? I said "No, you want me to get electrocuted? And anyway, the phone is off." She says to me, "well, why do you still get the bill?" Nosy little girl! LMAO!

My daughter is beautiful. Not to be conceited, but I was looking at her and her little cousins, and my child is really pretty. Not saying that her little cousins aren't cute, but you know what I mean. I shouldn't have said that, right? Oh well...

I can't wait to get my motorcycle next year... I'm going to ride that motherfucker "til the wheels fall off".

Does anyone know where I got that from.... "ride that motherfucker til the wheels fall off"?

I wish I was the one who won the Megamillions. :( Guess I have to continue with a dollar and a dream.

I saw the 40 y/o virgin this weekend. It was pretty funny.

I was watching lil' Kim go to jail last night... what happened to her hair? I thought it was blonde. Guess she had to get a "jail" look....

Have ya'll heard Twista's song? He used the beat from "Tonight" by Ready for the World. Its HOT! (Shut up Latroy)

Red - I have a CD for you. You know what it is ;)


That's all for now. Have a good day everyone!

Monday, September 19, 2005

Weekend Update

Hello all…. How was everyone’s weekend? Mine was pretty good. Just to fill you in:

Thursday – I went to the movies to see Emily Rose. In my opinion, it was pretty good. It didn’t focus much on the exorcism, like the first one did, but there were some good scenes. The funniest scene to me was when her friend was in the bed with her, and he woke up, and jumped back because Emily was on the floor twisted up. That was funny. Just the way her body was, etc.

Friday – Went to my sucky ass bar job, but ended up having a lot of fun and getting REALLY drunk. Haven’t been like that in a minute. There was 6 of us (3 of us worked there) buying rounds of Hennessey, listening to music, just chilling. I had a surprise visitor, which it was really nice to see “them”, but had me feeling sad pretty much the whole weekend. :(

Saturday – Didn’t do much but cleaned up my house, ran a few errands, and then me and my cousin went back to my house and watched movies. We watched Dark Water, which was OK. The best movie was the Skeleton Key. It was about 2 servants from the late 1800’s that practiced Voodoo. They were killed by their employers, but their spirits remained. They had a ritual where they could transform their spirit to someone else’s body to live. (Yeah, I’m a little weird). I thought it was good though.

Sunday – Went to the Bronx Zoo. I love nature! I had so much fun. I think I had more fun than the kids had. One of the best attractions was the monkeys. They had some cute little monkeys, one species had a baby and was carrying it on her back... awwwwwww; there was another species where one of the younger monkeys was doing little tricks; there were monkeys with mustaches... long white mustaches, monkeys who looked like old men with gray eyebrows, and gray goatee's. They were so cute!:)

And today is Monday. Mondays always seem like the longest day for me, maybe because I don’t want to be at work. Hopefully, I don’t have any annoying people bothering me today. I’m already not in a very good mood.

This morning I’m deciding to focus on me; do what’s right for me. I am the type of person who puts everyone else’s needs in front of mine. Very giving, if you need me, I’m there. But I tend to be taken advantage of A LOT, and I’m tired of it. I have one wish, and hopefully, one day soon, it will come true.

Have a nice day everyone, see you tomorrow!


*Ciao Bella!*

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Random thoughts...

Just a few random thoughts from things that happened to me today...

In honor of Why Wednesday on Foxy's blog:

Why did I almost have to cuss this motherfucker out at my job?
Why was he acting like he could just talk to me (well, actually type; you know when someone types all caps, it's like they're yelling) anyway he wanted to?
Why did I have to tell him he needs to take the bass out of his voice?
Why did he say he NEEDS to go to my supervisor?
Why did I want to tell him you NEED to kiss my ass, but instead told him do what you gotta do?
Why don't some people at work realize that I'm one person doing a million things?


I'm going to see Emily Rose tomorrow, even if I have to go by myself. Can't wait!

Can't wait to go to the Bronx Zoo on Saturday.

I hate working at this bar; can't wait till this promotion comes through so I can get the FUCK out of there.

I can't believe my best friend didn't help me when I needed her.

How come it raining hard as hell today, and this girl was walking into the job with no shoes on? WTF?!?!?!

How come a lot of the black people in my building are temps, and everytime one sees me, they ask me if I'm a temp too? What, we can't have a REAL job?

Where is Red, and how come he hasn't updated is blog?

Why did I laugh at Kibbles & Bits today, because she was crying over a cat that she found in the street? (Sorry, lette!)

I almost bust my ass today walking to my car, because the weather man FUCKED up once again, and it was raining cats and dogs, and my feet got wet, and my shoe flipped down the street.

Can you notice that I'm clumsy?

I'm getting sick of this fro, and I'm about to get some braids.

I miss my baby!

D-Crunk is a fool!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Not so happy today....

I'm not feeling really great today, so I decided to post some pictures; get a few comments on me :) P.S. All of these pictures are me, pre-au-natural days :) Don't have any pictures of me with my fro, but when I do, I'll share.

Me and my uncle hanging out.



My daughter and my nephew. Aren't they so cute?



Me on my 27th B-Day!



Me and my sister on my 27th Birthday (yes, I partied all weekend)!



Have a good day, everyone!

Monday, September 12, 2005

Never ceases to amaze me....

Last week, a "friend" and I had a falling out, BIG TIME!!!!! Now, her and I met last year through this "guy" and had a couple of life changing experiences together. From the day I met her, she's always talked about this "fantasy" love she was looking for. I'm some what of a fantasizer myself, but I've also had many experiences that helped me to check some of the fantasies at the door. So, late last year, she met a friend of mine (we'll call him Dye boy), and they became a couple. Everything started out OK, and then comes the rockiness.

Her: He has a nasty attitude, he's always yelling at me, cursing at me, etc. He's lost a lot of weight, I'm not attracted to him.. then the killer.. someone I know introduced me to this guy who's been locked up for ten years..

Me: WTF???? OK, so when does he get out?

Her: I don't know, he's working on that now.

Me: No need to ask what he did *rolls eyes*. Ok, so what are you going to do about Dye boy?

Her: I don't know, I care about him, but I don't love him. He turns me off. I don't want to spend time with him, blah, blah, blah.

So my comment, break up with him. Oh I will, she says. Well, that will NEVER came.

Anywho, I was basically done with that aspect of the relationship after about of month of trying to get her to explain to me what is is that jailbird can actually do for her. You want to see some man in jail, then go right ahead. Who am I to stop you? So, from that point on, I was interested in having a relationship with her. I would talk to her occasionally, online, but we didn't talk on the phone anymore, didn't hang out, nothing. One day I had to go to her house to drop something off that I had of hers, and what do I see? A picture of her kids and the jailbird. WTF?!?!?! Are you out your fucking mind? In no way shape or form am I saying that I'm the perfect mother, but I know GOT DAMN well that I wouldn't take my eight and twelve year old girls to see no nigga in jail who they don't even know. I questioned her about it, and her response to me was you wouldn't understand what he does for us, but he helps us out a lot. Ummmm, yeah, OK. So, for me, that was my last straw. Now, I have nothing to say. I said my piece, but you know you can't tell people how to raise their kids.

Now, this is where shit hits the fan. Dye boy is REALLY cool with my cousin. They talk almost everyday about everything. I was having a conversation with my mom one day, while my cousin what at my house, and my mom was asking me about said girl. So I was telling her about the whole situation, and cousin overheard. Yesterday Dye boy calls my cousin and says he has this feeling in his heart that his girl is cheating. He found a picture of his girl and her cousin (jailbird) in her glove compartment; saw cards hanging on the wall inscribed with "you are the love of my life; I love you with all my heart" Ummm, you THINK she's cheating? NO, how did you guess? So my cousin proceeds to tell him that she overheard someone saying that she was seeing someone else. Dye boy approaches girl, and girl denies the whole thing. She states, I know who told you, and I'll tell her she's a fucking liar. Oh really? I'd like to see that.

Dye boy calls me, asking me questions, and I'm not saying anything. I keep telling him, I'm not ratting on her, just let the relationship go. Ya'll don't spend time together, you're always arguing, just let it be. He's steady trying to get stuff out of me, and I tell him I'm not saying anything.

Later that night, I get a message from said girl, talking about how I was supposed to be her friend, and she knows that I told, and how she doesn't need this drama in her life, and don't call her ever again. Ummmm, I wasn't calling you ANYWAY! So that's NOT a problem. I didn't tell your little fucking secret, because at this point, I could care less about what you do with your life. I just think that its so sad that you're bringing your girls into the middle of all this.

So, in honor if MFM, Middle finger to you, Bitch; you are the weakest link! Good riddance!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Dream or Reality?

OK, so as mentioned in previous posts, I was reading the book False Memory by Dean Koontz, which is loosely based on The Manchurian Candidate. For those who've never seen the movie, or read the book, it's about hypnotizing people to get them to do what you want them to do. So, I'm towards the end, about 4 paragraphs to go, and it's getting REAL deep. The girl in the book was getting REAL gully, taking two gangsta's down by herself, while her husbands locked in the trunk of a car.

That night, I go to sleep, and start to dream. I have a dream that my "friend" J is trying to kill me, but the scenario is EXACTLY the same as in the book. We're in the New Mexico desert, it's snowing, I'm running in the dark around some old stone buildings trying to get away. Some how we end up in my house (weird, cuz I live in Jersey) and I'm hiding. I hear his footsteps, and all of a sudden someone touches me, LITERALLY! I jump up screaming, about to fight, and see that it's my sweet little girl, trying to get in my bed to go to sleep. Talk about SHOOK!!!!! I couldn't go back to sleep for about an hour, laying there thinking what if... what if I would have hit her? Oh boy, don't even think about that. It didn't happen.

Needless to say, I didn't read the rest of that book for a couple of days, and I won't be reading any of his books late at night! :)

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

My weekend....

This weekend I went to visit my mother in Virginia, and had a great time. Got to hang out with my sister, and nephew, see a couple of OLD friends that we haven’t seen in years! Went to this club called H2O and danced my behind off! I have to tell you about this though.

My cousin and I are at the club, and this guy comes up behind her and starts dancing with her. Right off the bat, I could tell he’s a male dancer. So he’s trying to get real nasty with my cousin, spinning her around, trying to flip her over… it was too funny. So, we go sit down to take a break, and Nasty Girls comes on (I KNOW ya’ll know that song… when that song comes on, every girl knows it’s there time to show just how sexy they are… LOL!) So my cousin and I get back on the floor. As we’re dancing, we look to the side of us, and what do you know… male dancer has some chick and is rolling her big ass all around the floor, like he’s doing a show… WTF? And the chick is just a laughing, head all on the ground, like it’s funny… All I could say was… that’s a shame! And she REALLY thinks that’s cute, in the middle of the club dance floor…. Oh well, whatever floats your boat.

Sunday, we ate Famous Dave’s (some SLAMMING ASS BBQ). If you haven’t tried it, you must… simply must…. and sat around watching movies all day. I saw Unforgotten, and must say that I was a little disappointed. It was really kind of corny, Aliens conducting an experiment on Humans to see if they can make them forget about their past, or loved ones. The action in the movie was all right though. There were a few parts that made me jump a little (just a little bit) :).

I also decided to make some changes to myself this weekend. I haven’t put a perm in my hair in over a year. Last year, I had braids, and was in the process of taking them out when I realized that I started too late and wouldn’t have enough time to finish before my hair appointment. So, I took some clippers and shaved my head (hey, it’s hair, it’ll grow back). Since then I’ve been wig queen. They’re just so simple; get up in the morning, throw it on, and be on your merry way :). Anywho, my hair has grown out a lot since then, so I decided to go natural, and wear my hair out. And I think I’m going to wear it like this for a while. I’ve been getting a lot of compliments on it, so what the heck… I’ve been told I look like Jill Scott; I can deal with that ;). Hope everyone had a great weekend….

*Ciao Bella!*

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Sometimes.....

Sometimes I feel like I have no friends...

Sometimes I KNOW that I'm going to be single, for the rest of my life...

Sometimes I feel like no one understands me...

Sometimes I feel like I talk too much...

Sometimes I feel like I don't talk enough...

Sometimes I want to know things I don't NEED to know....

Sometimes I NEED to know things I don't want to know....

Sometimes I wonder, is life really this complicated...

Sometimes I wonder, is LOVE all it's cracked up to be....

Sometimes, I just want to quit my job, leave everything here, and run; run away from my whole life...

Sometimes I wonder where I'd be right now if I didn't have a child.....

Sometimes I want to be in love....

Sometimes I don't want to be in love...

Sometimes I wonder is this world coming to an end....

Sometimes I hope it's not coming now... there's still so much I want to do...

Sometimes.... oh, sometimes.....