It's been a LONG time....

I shouldna left you.....

Hello everyone (for those of you who still check up on me e'ry once in a while)! I missed you all! Like Varnell Hill..."Did ya miss me?!?!?!?!" (Can you guess where tha came from? lol)

Anyway, there's been a lot going on; been doing a lot of traveling for business, as well as pleasure. But I HAD to stop by and wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving, and a safe and joyous Holiday Season!

I'll definitely post before the new year.

In the meantime, here's a dope beat to step to.

My purpose in life

Everyine has a purpose on earth, right? Yet, not everyone knows what their purpose is. I think I've figured mine out. maybe this isn't my true purpose, maybe I have more than one, and I'm sure I'm not the only one with this purpose, but after a long weekend of thought, I've realized there is something that is uniform in all my relationships (whether good or bad, man or woman). I think my purpose is to HELP PEOPLE FIND THEIR AMBITION.

I say this because in EVERY single relationship I've been in (5, including my ex-husband), I've met them in a time of their life when things weren't so good for them (job wise) and after I left them, they ALL come to the conclusion that they need to straighten up and fly right. And they DO straighten up and fly right, but for someone else. In no way do I regret my role in helping them achieve their ambition, helping them to see the err in their ways, I just wonder if I will EVER be with someone that won't need my help, my motivation, or my MONEY to get them to the point they need to be.

And before I get the comment, yes, I know I'm probably meeting these people in the wrong place (only 1 of them I met in a bar), and yes i'm probably not giving other people a chance (when I'm with someone, I'm with that one person, and don't cheat, and I don't date people because of what they have, or could have for that matter. I date someone because of who they are as a person). So, maybe that's what I need to change. Maybe I need to start looking at what they do have, before I look at who they are as a person?!?! I don't feel that I should change my ways just for that. I do feel that something good is going to come soon, and I just need to be patient and wait. I don't know. Maybe I'm just rambling.

What got me thinking about this whole subject was a phone call that I received on Friday from my most recent ex. He actually called to ask me what it is that I feel he needs to change about himself, in order for him to grow, become successful, become a man capable of taking care of a family, etc. I did tell him HONESTLY everything that I felt he should change, and most things he agreed with me. But, ultimately, it's his call. And that's all I can do, is give advice. Hopefully, some day, I'll meet someone who doesn't need my advice, and I can be free from my duty. LOL!

20 firsts

I was tagged by my lil' niece, Insanely Sane, so here are my 20 firsts.....

1. Who was your first prom date? Didn't have one either. My fake ass boyfriend played me, but that's another story

2. Who was your first roommate? Mama Theresa

3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk for the first time?Tanqueray

4. What was your first job? Sales associate at Merry-Go-Round

5. What was your first car? Ford Tempo

6. When did you go to your first real funeral? 16

7. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown? 6 months (Air Force brat), so I don't have a hometown. But I was 6 months when I moved from my birthplace.

8. Who was your first grade teacher? Don't remember

9. Where did you go on your first airplane ride? I don't know, because I was little, so maybe VA?

10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with? With a whole bunch of girlfriends in Germany. I wrote about that experience before.

11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them?Juanita Smith, and YEP, to this day, that's the one who knows me best. We're a week apart, and our daughters were born a week apart (that's freaky!!!!)

12. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parent's house? With Mama Theresa

13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? Whoever can make me laugh. Miek will ALWAYS give me a good laugh.

14. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen? Tameka's

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning? Hit the snooze button on the alarm.

16. What was the first concert you attended? LL Cool J ?!?!?!

17. First tattoo or piercing? A rose with my name going through it when I was 18.

18. First celebrity crush? I don't remember, maybe Ronnie DeVoe (that's the light-skinned one, right?) lol

19. First crush? Jose

20. First love? Eric Antonio

What's a girl to do?

Well, well, well.....I must say that my weekend has been pretty full. And now, a question for you all..... here's the scenario.

I got out of a relationship in September. I still have feelings for my ex, but am slowly coming out of all that. I will always have love for him, but can't waste my time or energy trying to make something be, that might not be meant. So, needless to say, I'm not looking to be in a relationship. I do, however, am open to friendships, and have met a few friends.

Long eyelashes - If you've been reading my blog, then you probably remember me talking about him before. He's a very fun guy, we always laugh when we are together. He just recently got out of a six year relationship with his kid's mother, so he SHOULDN'T want a relationship, BUT, there are times when he gets really sentimental with me, about how he feels about me, etc. and I kind of feel bad, because I don't feel the same. I do like him, but he's very young acting, and does things that annoys me, like drinks too much, etc. I keep my distance from him, and hang out with him occassionally, so that his feelings don't take him overboard.

Lawyer - Now, this man is starting out in stalker mode. Very handsome older man, calls about 15 times a day; I was at the laundry mat washing clothes, and he pops up, telling me to come outside, so he can "see my pretty face". Oh, please, you're just trying to get in my pants. And I KNOW you are, because you offered to buy my motorcycle. Now, the devious part me says "girl, get what you can!" But the angel side of me says, "karma is a bitch!" Of course, it would be LOVELY if he bought my bike, but I've never been one to date a guy, or sleep with a guy just because they bought me something, and I'm not about to start now. Now, if he wants to buy it for me out of the kindness of his heart, then hey, do you playa! LMAO!

Motorcycle dude - I met him a few months ago, at a motorcycle function. We talk on the phone maybe 2x a week, but haven't seen each other since then. I'm not really interested in him, since he's not making any effort to see me. He keeps asking me, "when am I going to see you?" Ummm, you live in NY and I live in NJ. For me to come to NY would take the same amount of effort for you to come to NJ. So, I guess I WON'T be seeing you.

Now, the KILLER, ex-beau - all of a sudden, he has a LOT of conversation for me. Calling my phone, asking what I'm doing, what I'm going to be doing later, etc. Now, being that I do still have feelings for him, I'm happy. But on the other hand, I can't trust it. Why are you calling me NOW all of a sudden? What is it that you are trying to get from me? What do you WANT?

I don't know blog land.... what do you think? About everything?

It took me a while to recuperate.....

but here I am. I'm fully recuperated from my party and now it's just a memory; but it's one that will go down in history. I had SOOOOOOO MUCH FUN!!!!! And we partied until 5;00 in the morning. So, let me get to the details.

Thursday night - Got fly, went to my bar, and got D-R-U-N-K!!!!! Mind you, I hadn't had a drink in about a month. I was waiting until the weekend of my birthday. WWWWWEEEEELLLLLL, I had 10 shots of Henney, and a friend of mine bought me an 12 oz. glass full of Henney on the rocks, and I drank half of that. Needless to say, I threw up when I got home. I needed to. My stomach was rumbling, I was seeing doubles, it was a MESS! I didn't drive, a friend of mine did. When we got to my house, my cousin cursed me out (because she hates when I get drunk). I went to the bathroom, then went in my room. She had to come in and take my boots and jeans off, and as I was leaning over the bed, ass up, throwing up, they were taking pictures.... CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!?!?! But what could I do? LOL!!! (And NO, I won't be posting those pictures...) I felt better after getting that alcohol off my stomach, so I watched TV for a little while with my cousin and friend, and then went to bed, around 4:00.

Friday - Got up at 7:30 (remember I went to bed at 4:00 a.m.) took my daughter to school, went to my job (even though I was off) because I left my purse there on Thursday night, went and got my nails done, picked up my pants from the dry cleaners, went home, packed, and waited for everyone else to get ready, since we were to leave for Atlantic City @ 3:00. Well, we didn't leave until 7:00. People arguing, some people not knowing if they were going to go, it was a BIG mess. BUT, after everything, we all jumped in the truck, and headed down to AC. We finally arrived around 9:00. The room was SOOOOOOO nice. My mom booked the rooms on her timeshare (Thanks, MOM!!!!). A few of us went to gamble, I was up $120, but didn't realize it (I had the FEVER). When I realized how much I had left, I cashed out, so I broke even. I came with $40, and I left with $40 in my pocket. We went back to the hotel room, and crashed, at 3:00 in the morning. So, as you can see, I had 4 hours of sleep from Thursday morning to Saturday morning. I was BEAT!!!!!!

Saturday - Got up, got dressed, went to the outlet malls, went to eat at the Taj Mahal. If anyone ever goes to Atlantic City, try the buffet at the Taj Mahal. It's $20, but worth the money. Then I went home and got ready for my party...... so, without further ado..... here are the pictures.....

This is me at the hotel getting ready to leave:

One more of me at the hotel:

The rest of these are of people who came to the party:

Hope you all enjoyed the pictures almost as much as I enjoyed my party! Here's to all those who made it my best birthday celebration yet! Love you guys!!!!!!!

Getting ready.....

Hey ya'll. How goes it? Me, fine. Getting ready for my birthday party. I'll be 29 this year, and since I NEVER throw parties, I decided, for my last year in my 20's, I'll throw a party. Next year, I'll be in Hawaii for my birthday; relaxing on the beach.

The last time I had a party, I was 19. Me and my best friend (whose birthday is 1 week before mine) had a BBQ in our little 2 bedroom apartment. That little 2 bedroom apartment held 35 people..LMAO!!!! We had so much fun. I had about 5 guys in the apartment that liked me, 3 of them I was talking to, and 1 was my ex (first love). We had a WHOLE lot of food, drinks and fun.

Now it's ten years later, and I'm having another party. There will be about 40 people there, a WHOLE LOT of drinks, and a WHOLE LOT of fun (not sure about food, but we can have some of that too). I'll make sure to post pictures, and tell of all the happenings of the weekend. Have a perdie weekend everyone!

You don't know what you got 'til it's gone.....

Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you got til it's Gone - Joni Mitchell never lies.....

I received a phone call last week from someone I used to work with in my old department, and the word around there, is, that the VP said, "the biggest mistake I made was letting go of (Ms. Perdie)...." Hmmm, is that right? Isn't it funny, that I was in the department for 6 years, going no where, and no one was willing to do anything for me, but NOW, since I'm gone, and everything is almost in shambles, you miss me? Well, it would cost you more than you could offer me to come back, so I guess I won't be coming back..... too bad so sad!

The video playing is for those who didn't know what they had until I left, FOR GOOD!!!! Hopefully, you've learned your lesson, and won't let the next good thing slip away from you.