WTF is a median?!?!?!?!?!

I'm glad I'm writing this, and not trying to tell this. Everytime I try to tell it, I laugh so hard that I just jack the whole story up. It's one of those "you had to be there" stories, but I hope you all get a kick out of it.

I was living in Colorado, about 14 years old. A friend of mine (who I can't STAND to this day) was dating some random guy. She was staying the night at my house, and his cousin came from out of town and they wanted to chill. Cool with me, lets me get out the house. So they come to pick us up, and take us to Memorial Park. We're in the parking lot laughing, chilling, just having a good ol' time. Some slow song came on the radio and the cousin asks me to dance (insert the RIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHT face here). I agreed and we're dancing in the parking lot like two dumb asses. LMAO!

Everyone got thirsty, so we decide to go to the 7-11. This 7-11 was on the corner of two major streets, one of which had a median running down the middle to seperate the road. The store had two entrances/exits, one in the front of the store, and one on the left hand side of the store (I'm trying to give you a good visual here). We pull into the parking lot using the entrance in front of the store. We get out, get something to drink and something to snack on. Our plan is to head back to the park. Now, from where we are parked, cousins best bet would have been to go back out of the entrance we came in, and make a right hand turn. There's a whole lot of cars, so he goes out of the left hand entrance, which exits onto the street that has the median. The only way he can turn is right, but I see his left blinker on. Here is how the conversation went at this point:

Me: You can't turn left, you have to make a right turn.
Him:Yes I can. I just have to wait for the traffic to pass.
Me: NO, there's a median in the word.
Him: Yes I can.
Me: No, there's a median, you have to turn right.
Him: (insert silence)
Me: (insert silence and look like duh, do you know wtf a median is?)

After the traffic passes, he proceeds to turn left. Whadya know? Baddooop (him running the front end of his car over the median). I BUST out laughing. He's like WTF?!?!?!?! WTF was that? In between me laughing, and trying to catch my breath, I say, I TOLD you there was a median in the road. He puts the car in reverse, and I start laughing even harder. By now, I'm crying... tears rolling down my face. I say to him, you might as well go over the rest; you're halfway over it. Don't you know this fool backs up?!?!?!?! And he says to me after that, I don't know what a median is, you should have said there was blocks in the road.....

Fucking retard!